My health insurance didn't cover vanity. I went to at least 5 different orthodontists, trying to find someone who would vouch that the overcrowding of my front teeth negatively affected my health. After about half a year of unsuccessful attempts, my parents agreed to shell out the $2,400 to make me beautiful. It was March of eighth grade, and Dr. Jimmy said that I'd have my braces off within two years.
Of course, two years became three, and the $2,400 became $3,500. In my junior year, my pearly whites were released from their metal prison, and I rejoiced in the slimy, slimy straightness. Aside from a jaw that pops every time I open it and a midline that's slightly skewed to the left, my smile was a million times better than it had ever been. Believe me, when I say that my teeth were overcrowded, they were overcrowded...like tooth behind tooth behind tooth. Literally.
It's foolish to spend over three thousand dollars on braces, not to mention the three years of avoiding soda, crunchy foods, painful rubber bands, and monthly appointments, only to never wear my retainer and let my teeth go all out of place...again.
So...I flossed for the first time in forever. I'm wearing my retainers for the first time in forever. And my teeth. are. throbbing. with. pain.
And I can't talk because retainers do that, you know? She sells seashells by the seashore. Thee thells theashells by the theashore. Raleigh, are you already ready? Are you really ready, Raleigh? Waleigh, ah you alweady weady? Ah you weally weady, Waleigh?
Maybe my teeth will hurt too much for me to eat tomorrow. GET SKINNY, BIYATCH!
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